And the bad writer award goes to

I gave a restaurant 3 out of 5 stars on yelp, and in my review I called them "crafty jerks" for their strategic pricing of tapas items. People who know me might be able to infer that 'jerks" in this case was playful, not malicious. I understand if it doesn't come off that way to outsiders, and that's my shortcoming. But I don't think it merited the chef/owner's condescending response to the review.

After cooling off, it occurred to me that I might be reacting so strongly because I think he's right, and I feel guilty, mean, and like a bad writer. I'm struggling to review restaurants objectively while developing a distinct voice that has style and is interesting to read (and can sometimes be brazen). I may have been unfair on the review in favor of creating a certain voice, and now that I'm getting called out on it, I'm defensive. I tried to keep my temper in check while I wrote him an apologetic (though explanatory) message. Still I got a second response from him telling me my review was ignorant and a misrepresentation of the restaurant.

Rather than figure out who's wrong, I'm more interested in figuring out why both of us are flaming up about this.

First, there's the whole restaurant industry and the delicate relationship between people providing service and people paying for it (which I find fascinating). There's definite etiquette on both sides--rules on proper service/food preparation and presentation as well as rules on proper tipping/reviewing, and when the rules are violated, it can be enraging to the other member of the relationship.

Second, there's the issue of personal egos at stake. He was understandably offended to be criticized about what he does for a living. I dread to think about someone reviewing my piano teaching negatively. But I also take pride in my writing, and when someone questions the validity of what I'm saying and how I'm saying it, not to mention when the person just completely misses my tone which may or may not include subtlety and sarcasm, I'm going to be a little bruised.

Since I spent probably an inordinate amount of time mulling over this last night and this morning, I had to do something to make myself feel better. Basically, I had to admit to myself that I could've been wrong. I revised my review and decided to be more fair on the next one. It's like swallowing a horse shoe to suck up your pride and admit fault, but once you do it I think it feels much better.