Dr. Fredriksen said today.
erggggghhh no it's not! In my head, it's vivid. Colorful. Maybe I don't hear red when I play in C Major like Scriabin, but with certain pieces (including the nocturne I played for him), I know with certainty, albeit abstractly, how they should sound/feel. I know what notes I want to have more gravity, I know when it should be warmer or fiercer, I know what my heartbeat should feel like before I start.
It's an issue of technique that's keeping me from communicating. And maybe just not listening to myself with enough of an out-of-body point of view. It's kind of like how I figure I come off in some social interactions--I think I'm coming off a certain way but sometimes it just doesn't rub the person the right way. Communication has always been a woe of mine, maybe one of the reasons I was so drawn to writing (to spend more time around confusing, ambiguous, wonderful language) and to music (for the beauty of ideas that are maybe beyond words).
I Owe You Nothing
1 hour ago
not to make fun of dr. fredriksen, but when i read her comment, in my head i heard: "like, your concept of sound is sooo periwinkle. geeze."
ReplyDeletei have no doubt you hear and express sound in a myriad of colors!